Dear Nur,

How was your day? i knew i should not worried about anything, so i just prayed May Allah always give you happiness and prosperity. It was happy to know that now you already has family to protect for eternity.

Nur there are so many things that make me remember you. Back then, when we were together, while you were away, I always cherished everything even the smallest one about us, to remind me that you will always near even if you were far away. Maybe i just get used to it for years and can't let go of that habit yet. It was funny because the process to unattached that feeling was already 5 years to count, 1825 days from that day, but I just don't want to make the days of letting you go is longer than the day i know you.  Forgive me because in the deepest of my heart i always think that you are my soulmate, and being apart from you still hurt my heart but now i guess i will be apart from you for eternity.

Back then we have a dream to become a team to built app or anything related to our field, we once dream, or maybe that was only my own dream to work together with you. Do you remember i said I will work for design and interface, and you will handling the back end process? You are the genius programmer that i knew, you are also my first line supporter that always keep my spirit up to reach that goals.

you are so kind, no wonder now you have anything that you want. there were many times that i found myself being jealous of you. I wanna find my carrier, something that i good at, find my purpose in this life, to find my place in this world, to help people in need. I also want to find my other half and be with him for eternity through good and bad, but i guess I always fall behind and still not reach that goals yet, feels like still long way to go. again i underestimate myself, because i wish that i will heard those motivational words from you, i wish that you will give me strength like before.

today i start to re alive my dream again, and pick everything that scattered, piece by piece. i learned from you to always see everything from the bright side and being optimistic. in this world everything is possible if we always try and believe in the process and effort, right?. Tonight I remember that sleepless night when you help me to finish my high school project, I remember the way you encourage me. 

Congratulation on your wedding Nur, i still can't say this word to you directly but i always want the best for you. Thank you for everything and thanks to god that ever sent you to my life.